There are many transitions from the old to the new that we go through, so taking them in stride is a useful skill to learn. 3 tips you’ll find in this post will help!
If you’ve ever been in-between – between jobs, relationships, creative projects – you know this state can be difficult to handle. It may seem like what has just left your life has made a huge void that nothing has yet arrived to fill. You don’t know if something new is coming, and when. You may get impatient to jump into the unknown or become fearful – what if it’s worse? If the last relationship ended badly, what if the next hurts you even more? This can get overwhelming and suck the joy out of you before you know it.
But these 3 tips will hopefully make it easier for you to gracefully make your way through this transition into a brand new chapter in life.
#1 Be compassionate with yourself
In this state, you may have a few ugly sides of yourself come up. You can turn into an impatient kid for a while who wants it all, now. You know it’s childish to demand something from life where no one essentially owes you a thing, but you still think it’s high time you got served that perfect job or relationship on a silver platter.
You may also give in to envy. Everyone around seems to have their sh*t together (pardon my French!) and you are forced to sit on the sidelines, stuck in the grey area.
Or, you might just start feeling inadequate. What if it’s all your fault that the last project, job or relationship you had ended? And what if the new one is tardy to come along because you’re incompetent or unlovable?
Whichever of these (or maybe other ones, your own) ugly feelings you experience when in transition, let them pass right through your body. Feel them for the time being, but not prolong and magnify them by beating yourself up for them. These sides of you may not be the best, but they’re only natural. Every human expression is.
And it’s by no means your fault that what had to end ended, and the new thing is taking its time to appear. Whether you believe in the right timing for everything (I do, at least right now) or not, sometimes it takes a while for the necessary ingredients to be in place to cook up the next stew you’ll be part of. For all we know, that partner or company you want to connect with is growing up to the level where you can work together for a common goal, that’s it. No one’s fault, so relax!
#2 Take this time to relax and learn
Speaking of relaxing and growing to new levels, that’s exactly what I believe transitions are made for. These are windows of opportunity in our lives where we can sit back for once, undisturbed by the outside world. How often do you get a chance to rethink and challenge your existing beliefs about work, creativity or love? Probably not too much.
But we need to do that, unless we want to be stuck in the same cycles over and over. Our old thoughts and beliefs have created the situation we are now done with. What comes next? You decide. You may want to stick with the tried and true or give a chance to something you’ve never experienced. Whichever you opt for, you now have an opportunity when calling the new things in to align them with your updated thinking.
You have learned a lot from the previous chapter that you couldn’t have known if it wasn’t for that experience. But if you don’t take the time to process it and make conclusions based on the new data in your system, all this precious knowledge may go to waste. In the worst case scenario, you may even spend the next few years of your life repeating the same mistakes you have made in the past.
To avoid this, we can just take the transition period easy and smooth. There is no rush in getting to the next station. It’s a crossroads – take a breather, clear your head and make a good decision on which way you want to go now.
#3 Hope for the best
Transitions, especially long ones, can chip away at our hope for a bright future. When this state lasts longer than you thought, it may get increasingly difficult to believe there’s something much better than your past experiences waiting for you right around the corner. Yet there is evidence to support that it’s true.
Think back to your own experiences. How often did your new relationship turn out worse than the previous? And how often was a new job or creative project worse than the last one you’ve finished? I have had maybe one or two experiences like that, but even they taught me priceless lessons I wouldn’t have traded for the world.
So, there is at least a 50% (or likely even higher) chance your next chapter in life will surprise you with amazing experiences you didn’t see coming. It is only fair that it makes you wait a bit in anticipation and weigh a few options, trying to imagine what comes next.
There is a popular quote (the source may be questioned) that goes like this:
“Nature abhors a vacuum.”
As we fall under the umbrella of “nature,” there’s an 100% guarantee something new is coming into your life to replace the old. So, sit tight, try to be at peace with yourself, and look forward to the future, because there are more possibilities for you out there than you can imagine!
Enjoy your journey!
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