This article talks about how to start feeling a lot better about your life by asking (and answering) the right questions.
Have you ever thought something in your life was off? That whatever it is you are experiencing is just not “your” thing, but you can’t quite put your finger on what exactly isn’t right or isn’t there?
In this case, we have (at least) two courses of action to choose from, or two questions to ask ourselves:
What’s wrong with me/my life?
Asking and answering this question will likely cause your mind to go into an endless rattle about all the things that could’ve been better by now, but aren’t. This rambling may include finding “the enemy”, – someone who supposedly put you in this unsatisfied place in life from which it’s hard to find an exit – as well as cultivating toxic envy (the feeling that pretty much 100% of other people on the planet have it easier than you, and it’s so unfair), or finding petty faults with those who are close to you, which may backfire and drive them away, understandably.
All these are our mind’s funny ways of tricking us into believing we had nothing to do with causing this situation. It just… happened, out of the blue, and we are just forced to feel the consequences. In this scenario, your whole life is ruled by unknown, uncontrollable forces that inflict whatever experiences on you, and there’s not much you can do but endure. “Endure” instead of “live” – doesn’t sound too fun, does it?
While it may be true that we’re not (or at least not the only) source of many problems we face, it’s in our interest to admit we have contributed to them. I don’t suggest drowning in guilt and faulting ourselves for every misstep, but instead gently admitting “I could have done something better”. It opens the door to understanding that not all is lost – if your past and present has been, at least partly, of your own making, then the future is, too, and it can be as happy as you choose! If you just observe your actions and make conclusions about possible improvements, next time you can avoid the same traps and take advantage of golden opportunities you may have missed before. Responsibility for your circumstances unlocks the ability to see a better future that is in your hands.
That’s why I think that answering the second question is more empowering, which is:
Given my life is imperfect, how can I make it better?
This one admits that there are problems for you to deal with, but at the same time gently pushes you to see what exactly you can do to improve your experience right now. In the question itself, there is an assumption that YOU hold the power to change your circumstances for the better, which you do, always.
Based on the answer and your sheer will, you can introduce changes over the next month, season or year. Seeing how what once was a thought “I wish X, Y and Z was better” turns into “Here’s how I’m going to make X, Y and Z better”, and actually making the improvements happen can instantly help you believe in your power to make yourself happy.
If exercised regularly, this simple question and answer practice can free you of feeling you need someone to come and save you from challenges. This is a conscious choice to go from the “victim mentality” to the “boss mentality”, i.e. handling whatever life throws at you like a boss! You will start seeing bumps on your road just as a part of life that you enjoy nearly as much as cruising on a smooth highway, because overcoming them feels so empowering. Just think – you actually took the imperfect circumstances you had and made something beautiful out of them, all with your own hands! Anyone who has ever lived knows how difficult this task can be. So, kudos to you!
Enjoy your journey!
I certainly hope you find this post helpful and maybe even try it in your own life! Thank you so much for being here, and I’m very grateful for every like, follow and share you give – your support means a lot to me ❤