The №1 way we disempower ourselves, and how to stop

This post talks about dealing with negativity in our lives – be it from people or circumstances. A simple switch of our attitude to misfortunes can create a more empowered approach to facing everyday challenges.

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This post talks about dealing with negativity in our lives – be it from people or circumstances. A simple switch of our attitude to misfortunes can create a more empowered approach to facing everyday challenges.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanore Roosevelt

Purposefully allowing a person steal your power is a ridiculous idea, isn’t it? Why would we want to let that happen? We don’t, but oftentimes we do it anyways. By not standing up for ourselves when we hear a snide or sarcastic comment that is meant to hurt us, we quietly give permission to walk all over us.  At times, even a disapproving or rejecting look from somebody can do the trick to make us feel small. But the key to turning it around is in our hands.

All of the above-mentioned negative things don’t have to affect our sense of self-confidence at all. I know, it’s hard not to pay attention, especially when you’re in a vulnerable position – in front of an audience or a person whose opinion you truly value. But today, let’s talk about how not to let unpleasant experiences hurt your self-esteem.

The №1 way we disempower ourselves, and sometimes allow people or situations to make us feel inferior, is by taking negative things personally. For example, we might think that the unpleasant comment we accidentally overheard at the cooler or a rude rejection from a person we liked were our fault. But it’s not. It was a personal choice of that colleague to say something nasty behind your back, and a personal choice of that potential partner to handle the situation that way. Still, both the circumstances can leave you with a sour aftertaste, and possibly self-doubt.

It’s important to remember that people and situations you run into, no matter pleasant or unpleasant, are no reflection of your inner world and inner worth. However, how you see and evaluate these circumstances is. Anyone can decide to say or do anything to you – and it’s their business. But only you can decide how you take on challenging people and situations in your life. Seeing them from “something must be wrong with me” perspective is a major way to make yourself feel powerless, through no fault of other people. Not even the ones who perhaps caused you to think that.

All another person can do is treat other people the way they see fit. It depends completely on their up-bringing, view of the world, and other factors that affect them. But they don’t touch you. Even if sometimes others’ rudeness or rejection may be aimed at us, we don’t have to bear the weight of it. We can choose to pick it up, making it our own burden to carry, but we don’t have to.

Besides dealing with negative or possibly toxic people, we also face the same choice – to accept or not to accept heaviness from unpleasant situations into our life – when things don’t go our way. Say, you had an end-of-year target for your business, and you just couldn’t make it. Or you need a new job, and you haven’t had any luck with your applications for months. Nobody has done anything to you, yet you may feel down and disempowered by the circumstances. That is, if you choose to.

Another way to see the same situations could be to understand that in hitting your target or landing that job, there’s more people involved than just you. Only when there’s a good match between you and your prospect or a potential employer can you achieve the desired outcome. And, apparently, for now it just isn’t clicking. It’s not your fault. But there’s plenty you can do to maximise chances for success by learning from the past mistakes on your side! Ask a third-party opinion on your product or resume, make improvements, or maybe spend more time actively pursuing new clients or that job.

Any past disappointment you may have had with people and situations don’t make you any less of a wonderful person, as deserving of happiness as everyone else. They are just experiences to learn and grow from, to be even more powerful than you have ever been before!

Enjoy your journey!

Thank you for being here! ❤ Please like and share this post if you enjoyed it, write about your own experiences in the comments and of course, follow! Keep rocking 🙂 

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