Keys to a healthy relationship with money

Many of us go through a phase where our relationship with money is stormy. At times like that, instead of a harmonious flow, we experience instability and worry. If you are going through it right now, here are a few keys to change and harmonise your attitude to money.

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Many of us go through a phase where our relationship with money is stormy. At times like that, instead of a harmonious flow, we experience instability and worry. If you are going through it right now, here are a few keys to change and harmonise your attitude to money. 

I must admit, at the beginning of my adult life, I have struggled to build a healthy relationship with money, and attach importance to it emotionally. It’s been difficult to overcome worry and fears associated with the potential of loss, until I realised that actually we almost never lose money. We earn it, then we spend it, getting the things we need and want in return – what’s not to like?

The rare exceptions when we do lose are when money is stolen from us or when we keep a large amount in the bank without any purpose. As an Economics major, I have learned that banks invest our deposits at far more attractive rates than they give us for them – that’s where a large portion of their profit comes from. Besides, when you take your deposit out, due to inflation, it is guaranteed to be worth less than when you put it in. In other words, you will be able to buy less with your money in a year than you can now. So, unless you have a good reason to store it away, you lose from keeping your cash lying in the bank.

Coming back from the technical aspects of it, money can give us regular headaches and tensions, but only if we make it so. We create worry around material resources by focusing our attention solely on how hard we work for them. Mental exaggeration of sweat we put into earning money will diminish the pleasure we derive from spending it. At the extreme, spending may stop being associated with pleasure, and start to make us think about how we need to work again to make more money. Here comes the headache – you mentally connect earning with hard work, and spending with more hard work on the horizon.

If this sounds like something you’ve been struggling with, make an effort from now on to spend your money with pleasure. Really enjoy every second you spend traveling, wining and dining, or preparing a lovely gift for someone dear. All these amazing experiences have been given to you by the money you’ve earned! This is its purpose, to make you happy – that’s it! Sure, if you require a 6-bedroom house with a rooftop sauna to be happy, you’ll have to work extra hard to get it, but the end result of all your hard work is the same – you experiencing great pleasure on this physical plane.

We’ll talk a bit more about enjoying spending at the end of this article, where you will see how we can find something to be grateful for even in paying the monthly bills and covering emergency expenses.

Now, I’d like to address another problem you may be familiar with. In the capitalist world, we see so many people flaunting their wealth, making it seem as if the one and only thing that creates happiness is having money. Gosh, there’s even a music genre built mainly around showing off riches. It may mislead us into thinking that how much money we have defines us to the outside world, and that having a lot is guaranteed to change our life for the better.

This misconception can make us utterly miserable, constantly craving more than we have. If you always think you don’t have enough, you don’t appreciate what you hold. And appreciation of the current moment, free of desire to change a thing about it, is what gives us the sense of satisfaction with life. Money is just a means to an end – not an end in itself. Having it doesn’t make your life any better. It’s knowing how to use what you have to improve your physical experience that counts.

If you live in a country whose currency fluctuates drastically, and where the inflation is very high, you know that there’s no point in wanting X amount of money. If you save it up for months and just leave it in your bank account, next year it may lose half of its value and all your hard work to make these savings will amount to nothing.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t make savings – putting away 10-15% of your monthly salary is a smart move to protect yourself from future uncertainties. And of course, when you are planning to make a large purchase, you have to save up for it.

What I’ve found, however, is that looking for possessions to build your sense of security and self-sufficiency in life is pointless. When you place your own value and feeling of having a strong foundation on something so unstable as material wealth, you never quite feel safe.

One day you are satisfied with your income, and all is going smooth, but you never know about the next. External circumstances like layoffs, inflation, medical bills or increasing rent can take away your sense of wealth as quickly as it came.

For a more lasting sense of satisfaction with life, we need to work on our inner worth – the kind that can’t be bought with money. 

  • How do we treat people?
  • How do we allow people to treat us?
  • What do we bring to the table – as a person and as a professional?
  • Do we know how to give without fear and receive what is given without shame?
  • Do we know who we are at the core and courageously align our life with these beliefs?
  • Do we own, with dignity, both our strengths and shortcomings?

These are the things that give us sense of true, lasting self-worth.

Money will come and go and come again. Flowing in and out is its nature, it’s not meant to sit in the bank for no reason. As you don’t attach negative feelings to ebb and flow of the sea, seeing natural beauty in both, be appreciative of money both coming and going. When it comes, it boosts your sense of material wealth. When it goes, you receive something great in return, be it a roof over your head, quality medical care, or just a delicious cocktail.

Learn to accept and to give both materially and emotionally without inner barriers, and you will see money for what it is – a thing we use to enable material exchange. Anything material comes and goes, builds and breaks, and always changes. Focus your energy on growing the intangible, unspoken sense of well-being and balance inside. Take creating tangible resources in your life as it comes – one step at a time, free of stress and worry, full of gratitude. 

Enjoy your journey! 

Thank you for the continuous support you give by following this blog, liking the posts and writing wonderful comments. I hope you find this article helpful, and that it makes the flow of abundance come your way easier and smoother ❤

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